Cow.

So I discovered some horrible facts about myself this morning. The cleanse book told me to record my weight and measurements before I start (I recorded them after I started, but barely). I'm 5'4" (which I knew, duh), but I never weigh myself for fear of what I'll see. Here's why: 150 lbs. GAH!!!! I remember about 4 years ago I was 125!!! And I was upset about THAT! I swear! Moving out of my parents' house made me fat! I was so sick of seeing them that I would hide out in my room and not even come out to eat! Now I love my living companions and the kitchen has stuff I like (since I bought them) so I eat! Damn it. That and having a desk job helped get me where I am today: a cow.

::sigh:: So THAT'S at least incentive for going through with this. I'll lose weight and hopefully get a new healthier appetite. They say you gain back roughly half of what you lost right away, but the rest will stay away if you eat healthy...damn, I thought I was still 140, so I thought, if I lost 20 and gained back 10, I'd be good! Now I'll just be the weight I thought...IF I make it!

I swear I cannot think of anything — ANYTHING — but food!!! I have gone a day here or there where I've barely eaten, but now all I can think about is all the food I can't have for the next two weeks! Chinese food, pasta, hamburgers (especially on the Fourth of July which is coming up this week)...

I'm also worried b/c I think I'm going to be on the rag in a few days, so that's going to make this even worse!

So I went to my parents' and a few stores before, and twice I went to the bathroom b/c I felt like I had to poo, but nothing came out... so that's good. I just hope it doesn't last as long as it did today in the coming days. Oh, and my pee is clear already!

The 2nd, 3rd & 7th (I don't know why) are supposedly the rough days, so I've got a rough time of it the next two days...keep your fingers crossed for me! I'm taking Monday off, so hopefully the 4th day will be tolerable...

Poop

Ok, well, off to a rough start here...

I woke up at around 8:30 and prepared to drink my salt water. Oh my god, it's disgusting!!! It's a quart of water with two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt mixed in. My friend said she would chug a pint at a time to get through it. I seriously don't know how! I couldn't! It took me about 10 to 15 minutes to drink it all. I hope it gets easier with time (the book claims it does).

So, the book ALSO says that a 1/2 hour to an hour later you should start having to shit and that the shitting should last about the same amount of time. I fell back asleep after the salt water and an hour later I woke up and still nothing. My roommate woke up and then we started watching John From Cincinnati (SO FUCKING WEIRD) and a little bit into that I FINALLY had to poo. Must have been... a little over two hours after I drank it. I think I went to the bathroom around 4 times so far. It seems to have subsided a little bit right now, but I'm not going to leave my house for AT LEAST another hour, to be sure.

As for the shitting...yeah, it's pretty gross...it...well, to be blunt, it kind of just POURS out of you! Insane. Worse than any diarrhea I've ever had! But it IS quick, though.

I don't know about you (you meaning anybody that reads this which might only be one...), but my shits aren't quick. I hate shitting b/c it takes me a little bit. Plus I don't shit very often, not every day...maybe every two days? So this is kind of good.

I'm glad I feel comfortable enough with my flatmates that I can talk about this though (they're both boys). After the first one, I said it smelled and I had to get air freshener and he said we had Febreeze, so I put that in the bathroom. I'm hoping after few days of only having lemonade, it'll smell less bad.

I just remembered, the first poo came on after drank my first lemonade (well, not TECHNICALLY my first, I made one last week to try it). I wonder if it helped...

All I know is, it better quicken up, or I'm going to be getting to work REAL late the next two weeks...

Poop out, ya'll!

PS

This laxative tea isn't very tasty at all... blech! Wish I could put sugar in... :(

It starts...

Okay, so I'm sitting here waiting for my laxative tea to cool (that's right, this diet involves LOSTS of shitting — the book calls it "eliminating" but let's call it what it really is — shitting!). Once I finish the tea, I'm going to bed.

I planned to come home straight after work tonight (which ended at 8, which I ALSO didn't plan) instead of my usual Friday night with the boys (and a few girls), but one of my bosses is opening a bar and he had a small co-workers-only opening tonight. So I went for one beer (my last for at least two weeks) and even a mini-burger (my last food).

Anyway, came home, bought lemons and now I'm going to have my tea and officially start this thing. Tomorrow morning will be my first "salt water flush" which is when the shitting REALLY begins. God I hope it's not too messy!! haha ...yeeeeeah...ew...sorry!

I plan to not go out much in these next two weeks, so as not to tempt myself. Hopefully I'll be able to catch up on TV & movie watching and I'm also hoping to play a few video games that I've been wanting to play! I got really into Pikmin2 and then I stopped, and I might borrow the new Zelda from my dad. I miss my high school days when I had nothing better to do but stay up until 3AM playing Final Fantasy III! ::sigh::

Okay, going now, don't want to spill tea on my laptop!

First blog.

This is my first blog. I'm still awake and I shouldn't be. I'm starting this b/c someone suggested that I blog my lemonade diet progress, which I'm starting on Saturday. I don't know who I'll let read this... especially b/c it'll probably be boring.

My new tattoo is itching like a bitch and I can't scratch it! FUCK!

PS I will curse a lot in this blog.

PPS If you don't know what the title of this blog is from, you suck.

The End.