Failed Again

haha

So I stuck with the Weight Watchers thing for about a year, losing about 15 total. Then I gave up. A) I didn't want to spend the money & B) I got sick of eating salads and other crap. I don't think I gained it all back as some of my newer, smaller sized jeans still fit me...but I definitely got it back and it's continuing.

I was kickboxing for about a year and half and then I got really depressed for awhile and stopped. Then I moved! So, now I am going to join a gym, but this time utilize all the classes they offer because that seems to be the only way I'll actually exercise. Hated the treadmill!!

Anyway...yeah I need another kick in the pants, healthwise. ::sigh::

Hell Yeah!

I wasn't going to bother with this blog anymore, but I just wanted to post an update in case anyone read this.

#1. I started Weight Watchers and have been sticking with it (minus a couple of weeks during the holidays)! Lost 13 lbs.!

#2. Still drinking water every day! At least 6 servings!

#3. Still eating lots of veggies (less fruit, cuz it's fattening, but sometimes). At least 4 or 5 servings a day!! :)

#4. I've been taking kickboxing classes since September (when I started WW) and LOVE it! I can feel and SEE the difference! And I plan to get a step machine for the weekends and a bike in the spring!

So, go me! I'm being healthy! And losing weight and looking better in the process! Yay! Though, I will say that I started up my Dr. Pepper again, but the diet kind! No WW points for that! And I've been drinking coffee almost everyday again, too, but that's okay.

That's all!

Oh well.

I was feeling really shitty about failing, but then my friend said I didn't fail, I stopped b/c I was vomiting and that's never a good thing...

I guess I should be happy I even TRIED. When my best friend was telling me about it months ago I thought I would NEVER try something like that. But I did, and that's good. And now I'm more aware of my eating habits.

#1. I cut out the Dr. Pepper I had for lunch every day, and I'm going to keep it that way. I'll only have it every once in awhile, as a treat! I won't even keep it in the house anymore.

#2. I've been drinking water! I NEVER drank water b/c I hated it, but now I have it everyday! I'm going to keep drinking as much as I can during the day.

#3. I HAD cut out coffee this week, but I've read things that say it's not unhealthy as long as it's in moderation. I usually had one medium cup a day. I think that'll be okay. Maybe I'll only have it, like, 3 times a week or something. We'll see.

#4. I'm going eat WAY more fruits and veggies. I will try to have these things in the house to snack on. And especially for breakfast.

#5. More salads for lunch! I'm shooting for 3 a week and without creamy dressings and shit. Maybe once a month I'll have a ranch! :)

#6. I think I might try weightwatchers in August. My mom went so I think I'll go with her and try it.

Maybe I'll keep this lame blog up to track my intake... I don't know, that' pretty boring stufff right there...but I've only given the address to one person so far, so it's basically just for me anyway... :-P

Now I want to eat something so bad. I had two apples and water so far and I've been up for 5 1/2 hours...I want a sandwhich...I'm thinking a veggie sub from Subway...no meat or cheese... I don't know....

I also want to excersise more, but that's much more difficult, especially due to time. I don't get home from work until around 8...but I can walk to more things...like the Subway (sandwich place, not train...)!

I lose.

I gave up. Officially. I ate an apple. I tried drinking the lemonade and I felt I was going to throw up so I had to eat the apple. I'm going to attempt to eat only fruits and vegetables for the next few days at least.

And I'm going to try to go for a walk today and tomorrow. I'm a cow.

Quitting

OKay, so I think I'm quitting already... I know, I know, LAME! But I just don't think I can do this salt water thing! I drank my salt water this morning...though I couldn't get all of it down...I'd say I drank 3/4. Then about 20 minutes later, I threw it ALL up. :(

What can I do? I can't do that every day and just throw it up! Plus, the way it worked yesterday, I didn't start the pooing part until like 2 hours after I drank it, and then it continued for about 4 hours!! (Not constanly, but like every 45 minutes.) I can't go thought that AND go to work...

::sigh:: I'm so disappointed in myself...but it's not like I can help the vomiting...

I plan to still drink just the lemonade today (in fact I'm going to make one as soon as I'm done here)...

I don't know, maybe I'll do some kind of fruits and vegetables thing for a little while ...

CRAP! I SUCK!

Cow.

So I discovered some horrible facts about myself this morning. The cleanse book told me to record my weight and measurements before I start (I recorded them after I started, but barely). I'm 5'4" (which I knew, duh), but I never weigh myself for fear of what I'll see. Here's why: 150 lbs. GAH!!!! I remember about 4 years ago I was 125!!! And I was upset about THAT! I swear! Moving out of my parents' house made me fat! I was so sick of seeing them that I would hide out in my room and not even come out to eat! Now I love my living companions and the kitchen has stuff I like (since I bought them) so I eat! Damn it. That and having a desk job helped get me where I am today: a cow.

::sigh:: So THAT'S at least incentive for going through with this. I'll lose weight and hopefully get a new healthier appetite. They say you gain back roughly half of what you lost right away, but the rest will stay away if you eat healthy...damn, I thought I was still 140, so I thought, if I lost 20 and gained back 10, I'd be good! Now I'll just be the weight I thought...IF I make it!

I swear I cannot think of anything — ANYTHING — but food!!! I have gone a day here or there where I've barely eaten, but now all I can think about is all the food I can't have for the next two weeks! Chinese food, pasta, hamburgers (especially on the Fourth of July which is coming up this week)...

I'm also worried b/c I think I'm going to be on the rag in a few days, so that's going to make this even worse!

So I went to my parents' and a few stores before, and twice I went to the bathroom b/c I felt like I had to poo, but nothing came out... so that's good. I just hope it doesn't last as long as it did today in the coming days. Oh, and my pee is clear already!

The 2nd, 3rd & 7th (I don't know why) are supposedly the rough days, so I've got a rough time of it the next two days...keep your fingers crossed for me! I'm taking Monday off, so hopefully the 4th day will be tolerable...

Poop

Ok, well, off to a rough start here...

I woke up at around 8:30 and prepared to drink my salt water. Oh my god, it's disgusting!!! It's a quart of water with two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt mixed in. My friend said she would chug a pint at a time to get through it. I seriously don't know how! I couldn't! It took me about 10 to 15 minutes to drink it all. I hope it gets easier with time (the book claims it does).

So, the book ALSO says that a 1/2 hour to an hour later you should start having to shit and that the shitting should last about the same amount of time. I fell back asleep after the salt water and an hour later I woke up and still nothing. My roommate woke up and then we started watching John From Cincinnati (SO FUCKING WEIRD) and a little bit into that I FINALLY had to poo. Must have been... a little over two hours after I drank it. I think I went to the bathroom around 4 times so far. It seems to have subsided a little bit right now, but I'm not going to leave my house for AT LEAST another hour, to be sure.

As for the shitting...yeah, it's pretty gross...it...well, to be blunt, it kind of just POURS out of you! Insane. Worse than any diarrhea I've ever had! But it IS quick, though.

I don't know about you (you meaning anybody that reads this which might only be one...), but my shits aren't quick. I hate shitting b/c it takes me a little bit. Plus I don't shit very often, not every day...maybe every two days? So this is kind of good.

I'm glad I feel comfortable enough with my flatmates that I can talk about this though (they're both boys). After the first one, I said it smelled and I had to get air freshener and he said we had Febreeze, so I put that in the bathroom. I'm hoping after few days of only having lemonade, it'll smell less bad.

I just remembered, the first poo came on after drank my first lemonade (well, not TECHNICALLY my first, I made one last week to try it). I wonder if it helped...

All I know is, it better quicken up, or I'm going to be getting to work REAL late the next two weeks...

Poop out, ya'll!